The exclamation marks in the title are not typos. They signify the wonder and amazement that a typical tourist to India experiences.

Being in Delhi, one gets to see a lot of tourists on the streets, in the restaurants, at the hot spots. They come in all shapes, sizes and nationalities. Whenever I see one, and I have some idle time, I enjoy trying to guess things about them: Where do they come from? What would be their social status? Are they more likely to visit/ have visited the Taj Mahal, the Kumbh or the Himalayas? Things like that.

First, there are the business visitors. They are the easiest. They are in their suits even at the height of summer, and their shoes shine more than their Ray-Bans. They are most likely to be flanked by their Indian counterparts who would be gesticulating wildly everytime the visitor sees something 'exotic'.

Then come the hookers. They are easy too, once you have got an eye for such things. They are most likely to be from the former USSR countries, carry a small bright handbag and have brightly painted nails, and well-scrubbed faces. They move either alone or in pairs, closely and not-so-discreetly followed by their pimps. One thing needs to be said about them: they are almost the only 'tourists' who turn out nicely at all times of the day.

There is another category that has become more and more visible. They are the young-students-on-a-karma-break. They invariably wear glasses, big watches and if you look hard enough, their weary bags or dirty trousers will reveal some designer label. They move in bunches, usually an equal number of guys and girls, and they sometimes can be seen taking notes. [I have hardly ever see this category take photographs.] Many of these kids come from Ivy League colleges and are on their term breaks.

We were watching the fourth one-dayer between India and Pakistan over dinner at a friend's place (lets call her X) when I first saw this ad. The product was Fair and Lovely, and they showed a girl who had the potential to be a commentator, being given a tube of the fairness cream by her sister, which transforms her, makes her fairer, gives her confidence, and leads to her being chosen for her dream job.

Y, another friend, was furious. She asked, "Did you see THAT? How can they show such a thing?" I found nothing wrong with the ad and I asked, "What?" "How can they reinforce the prejudices inherent in our society?" X joined her and so did the other guests. Now, both X and Y are very attractive and very articulate young women with thinking heads and I kept my trap shut, especially because all the other guests were vehement in their criticism of the ad. Over time, the topic shifted and I thought this was the last I had heard on the issue

I was wrong.

Everyday on my way to office, I cross the Purana Quila redlight and usually have to stop there for a minute or so. There is this young boy who does his routine of tapping the windows of each and every car and begging. His standard line is Ek rupaya de do saheb roti khani hai (Give me a rupee so I can eat bread). Some days he hides his right hand inside his shirt in a way that you would think he is maimed, on Saturdays he carries a small pot with incense signifying the offering to Shani dev.

I have seen this guy at the same junction for over 2 years now.

When I first came to Delhi and saw the huge number of beggars, I was horrified. I was very sympathetic (Poor chap, poor woman, poor kid...). I used to make sure I gave some money to each one. After all, I thought, someone who is degrading themselves through begging deserves to be given alms.

But then, living in Delhi, one quickly figures out the scam behind these beggars. One begins to notice the same person lurking around the same spot everyday and saying the same thing Meri beti bimar hai (My daughter is sick) to the same people. One's eyes start to follow them after the light turns green, and one sees that the old man who could barely walk the previous minute sprints to safety across the road and one does not miss the gutkha dripping down the supposedly unfed faces.

The issue of beggars is very complicated. On one hand is the humanitarian aspect of the right to a good life, on the other is the propensity of these beggars to breed more, leading to more and more, younger and younger beggars on our roads. On one hand is the question of whether to give as the person maybe genuinely needy, on the other is the maxim "give a man a fish, he eats for a meal...".

There are several NGOs that run homes for rehabilitating begging children. I am told a substantial majority of these kids run away, back to their dhandha. Then there are these stories, mostly apocryphal, of beggars who died and left behind their considerable fortunes.

So, what does one do? I have decided that I will not give any alms ever again. I will contribute Rs. 1000 per month to an NGO that works for street-children. Any ideas on a good and dependable NGO?

Just saw the promo for a new programme on NDTV. Bright kids questioning politicians on their policies and actions.

Guess what they call it? SMALL TALK!

Its events like this that get my goat everytime. A stupid Islamic cleric says India's national song Vande Mataram is un-Islamic and orders a fatwah excommunicating those who sang it. And no party has the balls to stand up and ask the idiot to back off.

Its election time in India and the so-called 'secular' politicians are scared to take a stand against the incident fearing a muslim backlash. Do they really think that a majority of muslims would rise in support of the misguided mullah? Where are we living: middle age Arabia? Or Talibanised Afghanistan?

There have been a few responses from some muslims and they have said two things:

1. The Agra cleric has no right to issue the fatwah. Only the Darul-uloom, Deoband, (UP) and All India Muslim Personal Law Board have the right.

2. Vande Mataram is a salute to the land and a Muslim only salutes the Allah and none else.

Lets take a close look at the song in question: (courtesy Freeindia)

Priya has this post about rules, who makes them, and how they affect us as humans. After reading this, I can make some sense of the general chaos I have found my life to be in lately.

There are so many great blogs out there and I had been missing on them for so long!

Over the weekend I must have read over 100 superb blogs through links on those I usually frequent and it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Do check out some of the ones I have linked... you will like them.

p.s. the DBM was a small cozy affair with a lot of confirmed bloggers not turning up. But it was worth the effort.

I have had my reservations about bloggers meeting in person even before I ever attended one such meet. But then I was convinced into it and liked the experience.

Now there is the next edition scheduled for the coming sunday. Am I looking forward to it?

My extreme tracker always throws up amazing results. {For the uninitiated, this site keeps a tab on the keywords people searched for on google, yahoo or MSN from where they came to your site. If you haven't got it, get it now! I got mine thanks to Nancy.}

A lot of people look for Small Talk or Making Small Talk ! You reckon they know my blog name and have forgotten the url? Some look for Ranjan (and its flattering, unless the Ranjan they are looking for is someone else).

Here is a sample of keywords from the last 3 days that I can't resist posting for your reading pleasure. The comments in italics are, of course, mine!

my fuck with neighbours aunty (now that's one helpful neighbour)

royalty accepting animals as diplomatic gifts (what was that again?)

indian blog husband richa sharma (blog husband??)

noida women horny massage parlour (hope he found what he was looking for)

Vajpayee is growing old (who didn't know that?)

Gorgeous woman goes shopping (what???)

What kind of people are visiting my blog?

Elections are around the corner, the pre-poll heat is already on, alliances will be formed shortly... so what will I do on voting day?

I will make sure I queue up outside my polling booth, get my finger imprinted with indelible ink, go inside and press the button which has the lotus symbol next to it.

Am I from a Jansangh-i family? Am I a manuwadi? Do I support what Narendra Modi overtly or covertly did in Guajarat? The answer to all these questions is a firm NO. But I have my reasons and let me share them with you.

1. Atal Bihari Vajpayee: Age may be against him but here is a man who is a superb cross between a liberal and a conservative. He has age-old wisdom which frames his conviction and yet he has the vision to think ahead. He knows how to pamper to small, niche constituencies while not compromising on issues that really affect the country. Just like Rajiv Gandhi revolutionised the telecom sector with his vision, Vajpayee's dream of the Golden Quadrilateral will change the way we commute and will make the country energy-efficient as well as cost-competitive globally. He is respected the world over for his astuteness and dynamic leadership, qualities you do not generally associate with an old man with wobbly knees.

2. Lal Krishna Advani: A perfect foil and a counterweight to Vajpayee. The man is like a strict school principal who will make the kids stand in the sun for several hours if he feels its good for them. No-nonsense and very sharp, he is unlike any other politician in the country. He will refuse to talk with extremists at their terms, even if it makes him unpopular, if he thinks it will be counter-productive. I would like to see him as Prime Minister after Vajpayee kicks the bucket.

3. Corruption: By far, this has been one of the cleanest governments in recent memory. The biggest 'scandals' have involved a minister asking his ministry to furnish his house or another buying coffins from a vendor who does not have the lowest quote or a party president accepting some five lac rupees from someone who insists - and these are laughable at best. Compare with the US where vice-presidents prod a moron president to send out thousands of young soldiers in pursuit of WMDs primarily to benefit his previous employers. The top players (Vajpayee, Advani, George Fernandes, Yashwant Sinha, Jaswant Singh, Sushma Swaraj etc) are honest and/ or seen to be honest unlike previous governments where the PMs themselves were accused of (and widely believed to have) receiving suitcases from stockbrokers, arms dealers, tantriks etc.

4. Consistency: The government has been consistent except for some minor flip-flops attributed to Vajpayee, which I believe has been pre-meditated in order to convey a message to different individuals or stakeholders without taking an irreversible stand. The government strongly condemned the riots in Gujarat and took prompt action to curb what is undoubtedly the one dark chapter in their tenure. That Modi went on to become CM even after this is a 'weakness' inherent in a democracy.

5. Foreign policy: That they have managed to safeguard India's interests in the face of tremendous support to Pakistani dictatorship for non-India-centric reasons is an accomplishment. By focussing on the economy as a diplomatic tool they diverted attention from the traditional "look-Pakistan-and-China-are-troubling-me" victim mindset on to the Shining India which is a favoured investment destination.

6. No alternative: I would hate to have an Italian-born Rabri Devi as our Prime Minister even if he wears recycled Indira Gandhi sarees and speaks what is supposed to be Hindi out of roman-lettered texts.

7. Secularism: Against all fears that they will indulge in Muslim-bashing and will build the Ram temple bulldozing any opposition, Vajpayee and his government (mind you, the party has an agenda and what they do is their business as long as it does not affect the governance) have proven to be rational and statesman-like. Muslims are as safe in India as before and their voices are heard on all major fora, even though the traditional appeasemsnt which benefitted only the elite has reduced.

I sincerely hope they get a full majority on their own so that the unfinished agendas of divestment, infrastructure-building and Kashmir are sorted out in their next term.